Do you make new year resolutions? Are black-eyed peas and collard greens your chosen meal for luck and prosperity?
I’m not sure I would consider myself a mystic but in 2011 I resolved to walking the path I believed I was destined for. This meant packing up my car and moving to Charleston, SC. This seemingly impromptu decision felt like my soul’s final plea, begging me to forge the path of my dreams.
This rash but, not so rash, decision came about when I, an optimistic believer in God, fleeced him a few months earlier. I knew the path I was on was not for me but as a people pleaser I dimmed my light to appease them.
In film, there’s a moment or event that forces the protagonist into their next phase of life. This sets the tone for the film, preparing for the story that will unfold. On the eve of New Year’s Eve in 2011 I made a decision that would change the trajectory of my life.
Before we move forward, let me provide a little backstory. I’m not sure if its nature or nurture, but I’ve mastered the art of defiance. Mix defiance with a cup of ignorance and you have me, freshman year at Winston-Salem State University (WSSU). I advised myself and created my own schedule, taking courses traditionally required to major in marketing. I had a master plan. A plan that ignored the fact WSSU didn’t offer marketing as a major or minor. Looking back, I admire my tenacity but also question my level of defiance.
By the time my advisor caught up to me, the add/drop period was over. No one could figure out how a freshman was able to register for a junior level marketing course. The system, taking a cue from me, ignored the pre-requisite memo and I got my way. Though perplexed, my advisor and professor allowed me to stay in the class.
I ended my freshman year on the Dean’s List and made a B in that marketing class. This was the inciting incident that thrust me into my story of learning how to create my own path. Where the path doesn’t exist, I have no problem finding the courage to create one. But what happens when you find yourself at the intersection of the path you forged, and the one people navigated you to?
It’s hard to find happiness and peace when you’re constantly swimming against the current. Life can be hard enough, why add the weight of other’s expectations?
I’ve known since I was a young child, I wanted to be a writer. Of course, I wasn’t sure what that meant, but there was a connection to it that solidified my stance. Most adults aren’t fond of a child who’s sure of themself. It comes off as willfully disobedient to the adult when, in reality, it could just be the child’s way of advocating for themself. Whether good or bad, that defiant part of me was silenced growing up. But that didn’t kill the intuition that constantly reminded me of my path.
During my senior year of college, I found myself at the intersection of the people’s path, WSSU and my path. In 2010 I began auditing a screenwriting class at UNC School of the Arts (UNCSA).
Walking onto that campus was the first time I felt at home. There was such a familiarity and sense of belonging. While I typically have no sense of direction, here, I knew exactly where I was going. This was the place I belonged. I had reached the dream.
Vacillating between my path and the people’s path created a level of anxiety that was like steroids for the anxiety I already had. I wanted to be home, at UNCSA, but their advice was for me to get my degree at WSSU then come. I was admittedly reluctant, but I did as they advised.
I graduated WSSU, completed the audited course at UNCSA and completed the audition process for UNCSA. I was accepted with a partial scholarship. Unfortunately, the scholarship wasn’t helpful enough. Especially when it’s a rule that you can’t work while attending film school. I was an adult at this point and already garnered a lot of debt, compliments of Sallie Mae. I felt so defeated. But my intuition wouldn’t allow that feeling to last too long.
As 2011 came to a close, I begin to wonder if my dream would ever be realized. At my wits end, I fleeced God. I had learned of a technical school in Charleston, SC that had a good film program. Unlike UNCSA which was around $40,000 to attend at the time, Trident Technical College proved to be much more affordable. And they had a two-year plan. This path felt perfect, until my anxiety reminded me that I’ve only lived in one city my whole life.
The thing about forging your own path is that most times, you have to do it scared. Moving to a different state to follow my dreams was no different. I knew if I didn’t make a decision to jump, I’d forever be afraid, standing over the edge of what should’ve, could’ve, would’ve.
On January 1st, 2012, I woke up in a hotel in Charleston, SC. I had no housing and no job. Just an acceptance to TTC and a dream. This was the part of my journey where I was forced to learn the value in defining life in terms of me.
There are sometimes your defiance frees you and other times when it leads you to a dead-end. This time, I felt, defiance and determination led me to a dead in.
I loved living in Charleston. Warm weather, close to the beach and overall good vibes. I enjoyed taking classes at TTC but being a part-time student in a two-year program meant completing that program would take more than two years. I had to work to support myself. This need to work revealed why UNSCA had rules about not working and being a film student. We’re only guaranteed a few hours of light during the day and the filming process takes all day.
I had this idea of what success looked like and being an adult who couldn’t work and taking four years to complete a two-year program wasn’t it. Feeling defeated, I withdrew from TTC after one year. I tried the only ways I knew to reach my dream of being a writer, which by this point had been defined as a screenwriter, but none of them seemed to work.
As fate would have it, I ended up working for a woman who’s daughter was a screenwriter and had lived the dream in LA working on shows I loved like The Cosby Show. One day, my boss shared her daughter’s story with me and how she returned home to continue fulfilling her dream. She shared with me her daughters ups and downs about the industry. Through these stories, I learned a part of the journey I didn’t know existed. I also learned, there’s more than one way to skin an apple.
In 2014, with the support of my boss, I pulled together a team of actors and crew members to create my first short film. There was a ton of learning on the job and thankfully, I had the wherewithal to add people to the team who had the film school experience I lacked.
The making of my short film, Love Faith Beauty, was a journey within itself. We went through two casts, a mediocre crowd funding stint and unavoidable obstacles that required I re-write scenes while we were filming. All the obstacles and me finding the courage to create through my fears solidified that this was my destiny. I was officially living the dream.
The dream was nothing like I expected but it taught me how to define success for myself, and that definition couldn’t be built or sustained by how others define theirs.
Learning to define success for myself has been a journey. And it’s that journey that made me uniquely qualified for the path I’m on.
Here I am. A filmmaker who didn’t finish school, has never been to LA and has never worked on a major film set. There are so many checks I thought were mandatory to achieve success that didn’t get checked but here I am. A writer, a filmmaker and business owner. Through it all, I never stopped believing in my dream or forging my path.
So, what do you do, as a creative in a world oversaturated with creators and a more leveled playing field thanks to social media? You define success for yourself, forge your own path and trust the process.
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