How does it feel looking into the eyes of the one you love? Does it change when you choose to embark on a lifelong journey with them? Or is it a look that’s been there but intensifies with each new level of love unlocked?
On your wedding day, do you want that first look to happen with an audience gasping in awe at the beauty of the event or in a more private and intimate moment? To have or not to have a first look is a question many couples grapple with. Whether or not it's for you depends on a few factors.
Journey with me as I reminisce on a couple who opted to have a private first look and why it worked so beautifully for them.
I always mic couples to catch those moments when they utter sweet nothings to themselves and each other. And I’ve yet to meet a couple whose heartbeat didn’t sound like they just sprinted a 40-yard dash. While they openly communicate their fears of saying the wrong things, they’re racing heartbeat speaks to the nervousness as they impatiently await the moment to say, “I do”.
This was no different for Rinoc and Raina. A sweet young couple who met in college and were taking the next step in their journey. When I arrived to the Leslie Alford Mims House, both were situated comfortably in their respective suite with their bridesmaids and groomsmen.
As I climbed the stairs, I was met with the sounds of friendly laughter but upon entering each suite, I realized there was not enough laughter, jokes or wine to distract Rinoc and Raina from the fact they were less than an hour from making one of the grandest gestures of love in front of their family and friends.
So, what do you do when tradition commands the first look to happen during the ceremony when the bride walks down the aisle? You remember that you and your significant other are building a life of love together and agree to do what works for you as a unit. Your family and friends will have suggestions, some welcomed, some not, but only you two have the tools and abilities to build a lasting love for your unique dynamic.
Rinoc and Raina did just that. Their Indian culture limited their intimate interactions and embraces for one another, especially in public. They needed to have a moment just for them where they could freely seek comfort and express their affection for each other.
Finally, the time for their intimate first look arrived. Thirty minutes before their ceremony and a little later than expected, but worth the wait.
We stood in the downstairs parlor bathing in the warmth of the sun provided by the oversized windows. Rinoc, exhibiting next level patience with a hint of anxiousness, listened for his soon to be bride’s voice. His ears perking every time the steps creaked of downward movement.
Finally, the doors of the parlor creak open allowing a shy laugh to sweetly float from Raina mouth to Rinoc’s ears. His body relaxed, ready for the touch cuing him to turn.
The photographer and I take our places while Raina, hosting a beautiful big smile, walks up to Rinoc, gently grazing her henna tattooed hand on his shoulder.
Rinoc immediately turns, catching his first glimpse. They embrace like to kids falling in love for the first time then separate. He takes in more of her beauty. Raina melts back into his embrace avoiding kisses and admitting, “I was having a break down”. Rinoc, keeping his cool, comforted her, “it’s okay”.
Because there was no rush to move the ceremony along, they were able to sit in this moment of love until they were ready to read their vows.
If you are over the age of 20, it’s likely you already know the vows every couple recites during the ceremony. Some couples opt to include personal vows for their significant other and guests to hear. Others take the approach of Rinoc and Raina.
While there was an audience of two, me and photographer, it still provided Rinoc and Raina an intimate moment of exchange between them.
Fighting back tears that would periodically take their breath away, they spoke from their heart, recounting the many reasons they’re choosing the say “I do”
I’m a sucker for intimate moments. It’s why I adore being a wedding videographer. As much as I would love for all couples to embrace these little moments of intimacy, I understand it’s not for everyone. Some people enjoy sharing this moment with their guests. And that’s okay, too.
There’s a ton of work that goes into planning a wedding. And you’ll undoubtedly be met with a list of compromises for your big day. Don’t let the ideologies or wants of others overshadow the needs and wants of you and your spouse. If you prefer a private first look and vows, include it in your timeline. If you want to ugly cry along with your family and friends, embrace the beauty of sharing that moment with loved ones. Whatever you chose to do, do it for the betterment of you, as a couple.
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